Dealing with family elders who are entrenched in their old ways, feel entitled, and are not accountable to the rest of the family can be challenging. Here are some strategies that can help:
- Respect: Show respect for the elders and their opinions, even if you don’t agree with them. This can help to establish a positive relationship and open up channels of communication.
- Open communication: Encourage open communication and dialogue with the elders, so that everyone’s concerns and needs are heard and taken into account.
- Active listening: Practice active listening when engaging with the elders. This means focusing on what they are saying, asking questions to clarify their points, and summarizing their comments to ensure you understand their perspective.
- Education: Provide education and training to the elders, so that they can become more aware of the changing needs of the family and the world around them.
- Mediation: Consider mediation or the involvement of a neutral third party to help resolve conflicts between the elders and other family members.
- Compromise: Be willing to compromise and find common ground, so that everyone’s needs and concerns are addressed.
- Establish clear guidelines: Establish clear guidelines and expectations for the behavior of all family members, including the elders. This can help to ensure that everyone is held accountable and that everyone’s contributions are valued.
It’s important to remember that family elders are an important part of the family, and that their opinions and contributions should be respected. However, it’s also important to find ways to address concerns and ensure that everyone’s needs are being met. By using respectful communication, active listening, education, mediation, compromise, and clear guidelines, it may be possible to find a way forward that works for everyone.